I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
