I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
