He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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