So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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