that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize