that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.