was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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