I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
