For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize