I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize