Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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