Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
