Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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