He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Let's get the cat blown out
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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