Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
