I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
