i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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