you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
