Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize