Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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