shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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