the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize