So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
