Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
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He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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