she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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