Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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