The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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