My brain says no but my pants say off.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
