You just made me feel so damn special
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
