The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
