If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
