I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize