i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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