I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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