Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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