Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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