There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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