I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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