i jhust puked up my retainher.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Text me some of your sweat
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
