He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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