I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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