I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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