Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
