Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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