I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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