What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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