Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize