I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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