Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
