No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
