Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
