Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
