I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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