I got chris browned last night
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize