Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
