I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
