She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
